A LETTER TO GOD .

It  ain't the end ,

It can't be that soon , 

It ll have to be ' not this soon' 

for I have lot more to do .

Lot more , not wordly ,

lot more , not really ,

just a bit of this , 

and a bit of that .

This , sitting with the family for long ,

comforting my mother some more ,

listening to baba a bit ,

and loving my brother some more .

That , sitting with Allah a bit ,

oh no!

That would be a little more , 

a little more than This , the family part .

I did not yet apologise to him , 

for all the hearts I broke ,

or tears i caused ,

or pains i gave ,

or lives I paused .

Oh wait !

I paused my life , 

I did not play it right ,

I have been on the wrong song ,

for a lifetime , right? 

I was supposed to tune into Hymns ,

or praises of thee , My Lord ,

I m sorry I got caught ,

by that purely impure song.

I AM SORRY ,

Just give me some more time ,

I ll listen to the hymns ,

I ll memorise them ,

I promise ,

and then I ll say them out loud ,

I won't sing , I promise I,

l' ll just say them out loud .

Just some more time.

I did not yet talk to Him ,

talk to Him about how life was here ,

I loved it though , but i loved it too much ,

too much that it took my love for you away ,

I am sorry it did , but it didn't take yours .

No , it did not take yours , 

for you love me more than mama right ,

but seventy times more , 

yes you do you, promised me .

Mama would give me time ,

she would wait for me to correct 

all the wrong I have done,

You love me more than her ,

won't you give me time? .

I have a lot  more to say , 

but my eyes are blur ,

I am sorry I can't write more now ,

my eyes are more than blur.

They are ashamed of the things they saw me doing ,

they are scared for me,

for I disobeyed , 

all the things You said ,every bit of it ,

but I would make then right .

If only You give me a bit more time .

Please just give me a bit more time ..

-Shafaq Shahid